Thursday, February 18, 2010
Vices. Who's got one? I have too many. Sigh, I am a Christian, and I need to learn how to live a full life without------coffee. Without the STRONG kind. Without the "Starbucks Double-Shot with an EXTRA shot AND w/ whip!" And I need to learn to get through the day without greasy, deep-fried fast food of any sort. And I need to learn to be and FEEL sane without chocolate bars, bars infused with caramel, bars blended with nougat, choco drizzled generously over deep fried donuts, you get the idea. I am going to murder my teeth if I keep eating these things in the middle of the night, too. And I need to learn to cope without shopping for "bargains." And I HAVE TO get used to being a "stay-at-home-mom" who stays HOME with her children once in a while (to sort of quote a dear, precious friend of mine!) I am ADDICTED to getting out and doing something for sanity's sake. HOWEVER, doing something almost ALWAYS entails doing something that costs something. Cafe Sip N' Play, while a life-saver on a few occasions is also...."spendy," to use a pacific north-western phrase. Sigh, I have to adjust my way of thinking and doing in so many various and sundry ways, y'all. I really ought to figure out how to get completely through a 24-hour rough day without the evening glass (es) of delectable $4.00 vino. I need to learn how to manage my unmanageable "events," events that involve children who are "free agents" who often upset the plans with their "free agent-ness," and do so with love and patience. I need to re-acquire all of the Christian virtues I once knew and practiced....before life got harder. Sigh, I need to stop using my wonderful husband possibly too much for assistance in areas that truly are my areas, as a willing stay-at-home mom (I feel this way, however, we don't have family in state to help---and I am uncomfy asking or even taking neighbors/friends up on their offers, so he, so wonderfully, is wonderful, is just...James. I am blessed.) Not needing my prescription for pain management anymore, as my pain has abated, I recently quit the stuff and disposed of the remaining pills. Not sure if that was the culprit, but I have been feeling the effects of not feeling the pain-killer "buzz." I am glad that I don't have access to more of it because I fear that this, too, could potentially become a vice, if it weren't for the fact that I truly don't have much chronic pain, especially now that my kidneys have been de-stoned. The point of this post is to remind myself, and others who may read this, that we need to TRY to cut the crutches, and just live outside our habits once in a while. This would enable us to rediscover old pleasures, to see things more purely. Problem for me is...which do I cut first? HOW? YIKES! I figure, right now, with a VERY spirited 3-year-old (have you heard? 3 is the new 2) and a newborn, not yet sleeping through the night, but waking more out of habit at this point--as of 2 or 3 nights ago, at least--I get a pass on this one for NOW. But, I realize that at some point, I will want my post-partum flab-alanch to go away, and I'll want to feel confident in myself, in my abilities to control myself, at least on some degree, and I'll want to glorify my Lord, by trusting wholly in Him. So, without further ado (my funny Valentine, Linc, needs my loving), I will leave you with that. Ponder. I love you all! You're right up there with chocolate! Just kidding. Tee hee. P.S. Linc's coo-ing is a glorious new vice of mine. I love me some Linc language.