About a week ago, perhaps it was, I went in to hug and kiss Wendy a short while after I'd put her to bed. She always gives a certain speech that is reminiscent of my obsessive compulsive nature. Her speech goes something like this:

"Watch TV right outside my bedroom, and when you get up to get a drink, check on me, and when you get up to get something to eat, check on me, and when you go to the bathroom, first check on me, and on your way back to the living room, check on me then, too, and when I hear the alarm system ding because Daddy is coming or going, come and check on me, and (every other imaginable scenario, followed by 'check on me'"), and then she wraps it up with "so 'do' my whole speech plus anything I forgot to mention." This I am to execute until she is in deep sleep when at last, I have permission to go to bed. This anxiety is me down to the very last thorough detail. God bless her. ;0 But this is not my point. Here it is:

I go in to "check on her," and I hug and kiss her and tell her how much I love and enjoy her. She then said something that truly shook my core. She said, "Mommy, I love you more than not having my challenge. I love you more than NOT having diabetes." She doesn't even know the pain of the shots or pump yet, or how much more often we'll be pricking her finger, but in some ways, she is a mature soul. She does love tremendously, and her statement was so profoundly moving because a mother loves her child more than her own health. Why would my child express the reverse to me?

My eyes welled up with tears, and I was thankful for the darkened room. I let my hair hang in my face so as to obscure my reaction, and I just hugged her and kissed her soft, tiny shoulder. I left her room feeling such a determination to do all that is possible for her, whatever that may be.

I have prayed throughout my life for God to provide opportunities for me to be His instrument. God is glorified when we demonstrate Christ-like love, kindness, mercy, sacrifice, thankfulness and joy. I often struggle with the conviction that I don't do enough. I read about the rare hero who pulls unconscious people from burning vehicles, and how in that moment, God provides their determination, courage and impossible strength.

I know that our acts don't always look like that, though. Sometimes, it's in the more subtle things, that we help our fellow human beings. I don't know how He may make me a better person, ultimately, but I do pray for holiness, and when we do that, He is faithful to make it happen.

Now, I look to Him for how He will use me to help my child, who may soon need so very much. I can't take her disorder away though I've researched if I could give her that part of my pancreas that she needs, thereby making myself Type 1. She would then need anti-rejection drugs, and her body, as it is programmed, may likely destroy the new source of beta cells. I wish I could be her hero, and I am certain many parents have looked into this also. This is not a novel idea, I'm sure.

Years ago, I signed up to donate bone marrow, when a friend saved a man's life with his marrow. This man, given a new life through another's act of love and mercy, was able to continue his life with his wife and child, and his purpose on Earth. I have never been a match for anyone. But that interest was motivated by the potential.

We all have potential way beyond our recognition. It's the potential to help mankind in ways that leave a lasting impact. We have able bodies, sharp minds, convictions behind our voices, resources, and problem-solving abilities---think of our scientists and areas of research in need of their cerebral contribution.

I don't want to waste whatever potential I have. I focus now on my daughter and my family, but even so, I will prepare my fields for rain, and expect to become more holy, being pulled into action where God decides I fit.

God made all of you with a unique purpose in mind, and if you ask for action, I know He'll inspire you and deliver you to your purpose.

We were made to be dreamers. We were made to be ambitious. We were made to have hope. We were made in His image, and what else could this mean? I believe it means that there are blessings and that they come about when we avail ourselves to be used, and to receive His grace---all through prayer and living our lives at the ready.

Days of Gladness

This morning's breakfast with Daddy--gluten-free waffles, sugar-free pancakes with sugar-free syrup, strawberries, and cheese toast. Wendy eats more than any of us, and I know that extreme hunger is a symptom of developing Type 1, so while it does cause my stress, I also realize that she may be on a growth spurt.
Her big appointment with Texas Childrens is coming up in a couple weeks, so please pray for this official second opinion to differ from the prevailing belief we've encountered thus far.
I know she's had numbers far outside the normal range, earlier on, but we often get normal numbers, too, even when we expect otherwise. Still no thirst or frequent trips to toilet. The main symptom is the constant hunger--and, she appears pretty thin (however, I was, too, at her age). Of course we avoid sugar, white foods, processed foods, etc, so who knows what would happen with chicken nuggets and orange juice followed by a hershey kiss or two, you know? We hope for the best. We're living on our knees.
Chinese Water Colors~ I'm working on some Asian-inspired miniature paintings for my mom's bedroom, to go over the headboard of their new bed and in between two Japanese lamps, and Wendy's been trying her hand at paintings of Pooh Bear with abandon. Here she is the second day of painting, before I set up her supplies for her.

Spring Break

Yesterday morning, we had nursery duty, and Miss Wendy was our helper! She rocked baby Brady, and he just loved her attention. She was also proud to wear her brand new Matilda Jane dress, which I ordered from my friend's trunk show. Love the colors on her complexion.
Below, James loving on two babies---Brady loves Lilly, and he's rather aggressive!Ah....Wendy's first lost tooth~ the night we "readied" it for under her pillow!Wendy knows the Tooth Fairy is me. Long story, but she was questioning the reality of Santa, etc, in the same vein----er----well, "Is Santa really real?! What about the Easter Bunny? What about God?!" So, James and I glanced at each other, and James made the call I hoped he would when he explained. I then said, "I cannot WAIT to be your Easter Bunny! I've always WISHED to be one!" And then, of course, came the "Now, do NOT tell your friends...bla bla bla."
Wendy decided to place her pillow on the floor of her room. It's actually a pillow made by her old best friend's mom, whose family we left in Vancouver, Wa. Thankfully, we keep in touch. Her's has Anna Marie's name on it, and the reverse for Anna. Sweet girls.
She fell asleep, and behold her bounty!"Good Morning, Woo Loo!" A-HAAA!!!She was delighted with her new battery-operated Dora toothbrush, sweet big-girl paste, puzzle-doll, sugar-free gum and $5!In Houston, Wendy, Linc and cousins enjoyed Wonderwild! Here they are lunchin'.Lost in cheese~My Ben-man. Cuuuute!"Bead-working" with Cousin Mary Ellen!Splashin' Girls!Relaxin' with a show...Crazy man needs to simmah down nah."Attempted" slumber party. Had to separate them at 11 when they were still goofing off!Oh, the JOY! Wendy and Hattie, 2 mos. difference, are so similar. So glad they have their love.Before we went to H-town, James, the kids and I took a 4-day trip. I let Wendy borrow my camera. Her images---
Image #1 Wendy's Title "Pooh Bear's Portrait and Diamonds" (don't understand the diamonds reference-?)
Image #2 Titled (by Wendy) "Daddy Driving in the Car"Image #3 Wendy calls this one "Lincoln is a Stinky Linky Boy!"I spotted this fan in an antique shop, and thought the little girl featured resembled Wendy. Wendy wants to title this pic, "Mommy Shopping for Something that Looks Like Me." (She and I are working on this post together.)"Dinner for Wendy," by Wendy."Wendy Making a Silly Face."Linc being cute.After our tour of the prison museum in Huntsville. Time for their "diabetic-friendly bars."Wendy in jail with Pooh. What on Earth did they do to wind up here?! (This was a great opportunity to emphasize the importance of good behavior to Wendy!)In a hotel---Linc not wantin' to call it quits."Ah, Mom, the flash. Please.""Mommy, I like that flash!" (This is what Wendy just told me to type!)At the Dallas Fairgrounds~In swimmer diaper by fountain.Wendy, "Can I PLEASE title that one? I like it SO much!" "Okay, Wendy." Titled, "The Swimming Party of Fun."Whatever happened to the statement that goes something like this, "Your child may wander from you, but he/she will never venture further than 100 yards from your site." Um, no. We had to chase this guy.Wendy calls this pic, "You Have to Watch Your Child When She's Running Down the Street."Bird-stalking.I love this man.Spazzy-Oh, I just got cut-off. Wendy wants to title this one, "Spazzy Wendy and Restaurant."Just now waking..."Pooh Bear Having Portrait Taken With Wendy," she says."Lincoln in Bed," titled by you-know-who!Lincoln fell asleep at Sharks Imax show, as did Daddy!Childrens' Museum~Milking Cow!Wendy and the Magic School Bus!Pooh Bear and "J C Penney" ready for the night in our first "mo-tel." Wendy learned the difference between a motel and a hotel. When we stayed in a hotel the second night, she said, "You mean we get to access our room via a HALLWAY?!"Oh yeah, Linc was right at home--anywhere.Before our trip, I let Wendy run and play in the rain for the first time. I kind of "caught" her doing it already. It was so sweet and fun. She made up songs about how dancing in the rain is the key to happiness! She wants this pic to be titled, "Wendy Does a Dance."Dry-cleaned a shirt of Linc's, which was terribly stained. How CUTE is this?!